


Dwarves love only once.

by LoviNek



Series: Short hobbit stories [2]
Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Secret love, Thorin's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2017-12-03 20:02:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/702066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoviNek/pseuds/LoviNek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dwarves love only once. And when they love, they can do anything for that one person. Without that person, they are just dead inside.  They are quite terrified that they can love someone that much and do anything for their happiness. Even give up their own happiness for them.<br/>Thorin was the oldest from all the Company, except Wizard. He knew what love can do to proud dwarf. And when he found out about his feelings, he wanted to smash his head in the nearest rock. But he couldn’t. He had his quest. He tried to remember it, when he was feeling his heart ache, when he was looking at their burglar.<br/>[..]<br/>But he didn't tell Bilbo anything...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dwarves love only once.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for my english, not native language. My second work in Hobbit fandom. Why I only write angst?! I hope soon I write something happier. But for now I hope you would like it^^  
> Sorry for mistakes.

Dwarves love only once. And when they love, they can do anything for that one person. Without that person, they are just dead inside. They are quite terrified that they can love someone that much and do anything for their happiness. Even give up their own happiness for them.  


Thorin was the oldest from all the Company, except Wizard. He knew what love can do to proud dwarf. And when he found out about his feelings, he wanted to smash his head in the nearest rock. But he couldn’t. He had his quest. He tried to remember it, when he was feeling his heart ache, when he was looking at their burglar.  
Love wasn’t simply. Dis was married, but her husband died. She had two sons, but Thorin still could see pain in her eyes. If it wasn’t for Kili and Fili, he knew she would follow her beloved. He knew dwarves, who did it. Only the strongest tried live after their love died.  


He started talking with a hobbit. Started be nicer to him. Helping him. Tried understanding him. Bilbo was happier with his change. He wasn’t afraid of him anymore. Thorin’s heart swelled in his chest on this sight. He only wants Bilbo to be happy.  


Balin was giving him worried looks, since he started be nicer. Thorin didn’t know why. He only wanted to know about hobbit. Wanted to be with him. Wanted to talk to him. Wanted… He had a little problem with it, but everything would be good. He was in love and wanted to tell everyone about it. Especially Bilbo.  


He wanted to tell him in Beorn’s house. They were resting there. Everyone was quite happy and relaxed. It was perfect place to just tell someone you love, that you had feelings for them. But Thorin didn’t do it.  


He saw him. Saw him, when they were sitting near river, fishing. Bilbo just leaned in him and Bofur hugged him with one hand. Bilbo was relaxed, happy. He even started napping after few minutes. And Bofur just sat there with fishing road in one hand and hugging Bilbo with other. Thorin wanted be mad. Wanted shout at toymaker. Wanted kill him. But he only felt pain and hollow in his chest. And he understood Balin’s worried looks. Everyone knows. He was only one, who didn’t see it. Stupid, naive… heartbroken.  


He didn’t tell Bilbo anything. He tried still being nice, still talking to him, still be close to him. But it hurt him so much. Now he just saw everything. Every look between Bilbo and Bofur. Every little touch. Every smile. He wanted be blind. He wanted to never felt in love. It hurt so much, he wanted just die. But he has his quest. His home to reclaim.  


Bofur didn’t except him to do something like this, when they was in Erebor. Not, after Thorin banished Bilbo... Thorin just pushed him on the wall and pinned him with hand on toymaker’s throat. “Make him sad and I will kill you.” King growled through his teeth and pulled away. He quickly walked away and Bofur understood. Thorin banished Bilbo for his safety. They had a battle. He wanted Bilbo to be safe. And Bofur was grateful Thorin for this.  


Bofur knew he wouldn’t have chances with hobbit, if Thorin tell him about his feelings. Thorin was a King! And Bilbo always admired him. But for some reasons Thorin didn’t tell anything. He didn’t know why, but he was happy. He knew how much Thorin was suffering with Bilbo next to him, but he still was happy.  


His quest was over. He reclaimed their home. He made everything to make Bilbo safe. Now, he hadn’t more reason to live. He took his first blow, when he protected Bofur. He couldn’t just watch him die, when he knew Bilbo would be miserable after his death. He heard Bofur’s shout, but he didn’t stop fighting. His side hurt, but he still was fighting, killing orcs. It helped him not to think.  


He heard Kili’s cry, when he received his second serious blow. He saw Kili and Fili running to him, when he felt to his knees and he knew, they will die, if they started to protect him. He slowly stood up and raised his sword. His side was hurting. His vision was swirling. He felt so weak and his sword was so heavy. But he still was fighting. Kili and Fili still had a reason to life. They had each other. He knew about them. And he was jealous about their love at the beginning. But now he only wanted them to live.  


He received third, critical blow from Azog, when he pierced his enemy’s chest with his blade. Now everything in his life was complete. World around him was blurred and he felt himself falling, but he never felt end of this. Everything was suddenly dark.  


They win. Balin smiled at him. His Company was alive. Kili and Fili were wounded, but they would survive. “And hobbit?” Thorin asked and Balin gave him worried look.  


“He is here. With Bofur. Do you want to talk with him?”  


“Just apologize for my behavior.” He said quietly. He was in pain. He didn’t have much time. Balin knew this. He simply left and after few too long minutes Bilbo appeared.  


“Master Thorin, I…”  


“I am sorry for my act. But I wanted you to be safe. For Bofur. Dwarves don’t love easily. But when they do, they love to death.”  


“You don’t need to apologize. It’s my fault. I took…”  


“Just forget about that stupid stone! I don’t have much time. I just want you to know…” Bilbo looked at him with tears in his eyes and Thorin couldn’t say it. What if Bilbo had feelings toward him? What would he do, when he knew hobbit’s answer? He was afraid and didn’t say anything. He smiled, his heart hurt more than his whole body. “I am glad you wanted to be big part of this Adventure, Bilbo Baggins.”  


Thorin closed his eyes, not wanted to look at hobbit’s eyes. He was a coward. He was running from broken heart, from hollow existence. Bilbo’s quiet sobs was so far away from him. He didn’t know, if that soft touch on his lips was real, or just was his dream. The first and last one kiss…  


*~*~*~*~*~*  


“He protected me.”  


Bofur looked at Bilbo, who stood still near Thorin’s tomb. Hobbit was staring at inscription for some time now with empty eyes. Dwarf was worried about his lover and didn’t have idea, what to do, except to start a talk. Bilbo looked at him and wanted him to continue.  


“In The Battle. I should die then, but he saved me.”  


Bilbo didn’t say a word. Just looked again at grave with tears in his eyes. Bofur sighed and hugged him from behind.  


“He loved you, you know?” Toymaker said after few minutes of silent. Shocked expression on Bilbo’s face gave him all answers he wanted. “And you loved him…”  


“I love you…” Bilbo said quietly and put his hands on dwarf’s bigger hands on his belly. He still was looking forward with tears flowing from his eyes.  


“But if he would say anything…”  


“No!” hobbit stopped him and turned around. He grabbed Bofur’s face in his hands and looked him in the eyes. “No buts! No ifs!!! It didn’t happen! I am here, with you and I love you! You understand me?”  


Bofur nodded with small smile and hugged Bilbo tightly to his body. He loved and was loved in return. It was everything he could ask. He kissed hobbit’s head and allowed himself one last doubting thought, before he pulled Bilbo from Thorin’s tomb. _“But you love him stronger than me, even if he is dead and I am alive with you.”_


End file.
